I cried my heart out that night. That was the 4th shot of vodka that i gulped down my throat; the colorless liquid that sets your heart free from any pain.
I was already high, and did not wish to return back to normal, to the life where every testosterone producing human being used to gawk at me like a hungry vulture. For them, i was just their lust satisfying 'item', that could be bought for a few thousands of rupees.
The music was getting louder, the neon lights danced to its tunes.
Whole ambience turned into a blue hue.
Unable to keep hold of my body anymore, i sat on the nearby couch with a loud thud.
"Another vodka shot please", i tried to make myself audible through the sharp music.
"Easy lady, a glass of lemonade please", a manly yet soothing voice echoed from somewhere near me.
I tried to look up at the man whose authoritative voice it was.
"Are you okay Ma'am? You seem to be not well, you want me to drop you at your home?" The guy shouted these words in my ears.
"Home! Did he say HOME? Haah, funny eh! What should I tell him?" I tried to utter something but all I could was to stammer.
"No! It's fine. I don't take help from strangers. Thank you for the offer though. Bye. Take care." And I made my way to the exit of "The Nightly Beasts Lounge".
The roads were secluded and calm, quite contrary to the building that was beside it.
The watch showed 2a.m.
I waited for a cab for 10-20 minutes. But unable to see any trace of it, i began to walk.
Stilettoes hanging in one hand, smeared kohl, unkempt hair kissing the soft breeze, skimpy clothes; HOE, that's what any ongoing looker would think of me.
But isn't that what i am?
A prostitute who sells her body to people who have sold their souls?
Engrossed in these thoughts, i sauntered the roads.
A black verna stopped near me.
"Customer", that's what my first thought was.
A familiar pair of eyes looked at me from inside the car.
"Damn !!! He's that pub guy who offered me a lift. Is he stalking me? But why? I am really not in a mood to entertain any customer tonight", thinking this i decided to put up a rude accent and turn him down whoever he was.
"It's late miss, and you are really not in your senses. Please don't think ill of me. I just felt like dropping you safely to wherever you are going. Please get inside the car and fasten the seat belt", he commanded me and i don't know why, i could not turn him down.
"That's like a good girl. So miss ummmm..."
"Natasha, call me Natasha", i completed his half finished sentence.
"Yes Miss Natasha, where am i dropping you?"
His voice was the most melodious thing i had ever heard.
I looked down. What should I tell him? What if he passes some nasty gestures at me like everyone else? It hurts. After all i am a human being, though people hardly consider me one, but i too have a heart.
"The burrow, red light street", i said with a straight face. The alcohol seemed to have triggered my adrenaline rush.
I was expecting him to smirk, to wince. To rape me with x ray eyes.
But I was wrong.
He passed a gentleman's smile and nodded.
I decided to take a stroll down the memory lane during the drive.
It was almost two and a half years ago when i entered this dark world of untold stories, of unsaid sorrows.
After a successful relationship of almost five years, Sameer left me without giving any valid reason.
I still remember his last words lucidly.
"I don't love you anymore! You getting it? I am tired of your tantrums and possessive nature. I do have a social life and for god's sake don't ruin it. You better leave my house right now and get fucked by other guys. You are such a Hoe! Now go and adopt that as your profession."
I was thrown out of the house that night with no money and a single piece of cloth to cover my body.
I cried.
I kept sitting outside HIS house and begged him to let me in.
My mournful words fell in deaf ears.
Gathering up the shattered pieces of my heart, i vowed, "I have always blindly followed whatever you have decided for me. I know nothing except loving you. If this is what you have decided for me, then i accept it with wide open arms. I loved you baby."
Glittering lights of all colors brought me back to my present.
"You are home Natasha", he said.
I looked outside. The place appeared HOME.
I thanked him and got down the car.
"Hope to meet you again Aastha", that stranger said with a half curved smile.
That name. It stirred something deep inside.
"How does he know me? Are we friends?"
I gave him a long hard look, he appeared oddly familiar.
"Don't look at me like that Aastha, i know you. You are Sameer's Aastha; His belief. I know what happened a few years ago. I was a silent admirer of The Aastha Roy Kapoor of Delhi Management College, like everyone else!".
He passed me a smile and drove off.
I kept looking in that direction for a long time till his car was no more within my view range.
I turned and looked at the sign board that said "The Burrow" in bright red light; the destination that My Sameer had chosen for me.
--Apurba Mandal
I was already high, and did not wish to return back to normal, to the life where every testosterone producing human being used to gawk at me like a hungry vulture. For them, i was just their lust satisfying 'item', that could be bought for a few thousands of rupees.
The music was getting louder, the neon lights danced to its tunes.
Whole ambience turned into a blue hue.
Unable to keep hold of my body anymore, i sat on the nearby couch with a loud thud.
"Another vodka shot please", i tried to make myself audible through the sharp music.
"Easy lady, a glass of lemonade please", a manly yet soothing voice echoed from somewhere near me.
I tried to look up at the man whose authoritative voice it was.
"Are you okay Ma'am? You seem to be not well, you want me to drop you at your home?" The guy shouted these words in my ears.
"Home! Did he say HOME? Haah, funny eh! What should I tell him?" I tried to utter something but all I could was to stammer.
"No! It's fine. I don't take help from strangers. Thank you for the offer though. Bye. Take care." And I made my way to the exit of "The Nightly Beasts Lounge".
The roads were secluded and calm, quite contrary to the building that was beside it.
The watch showed 2a.m.
I waited for a cab for 10-20 minutes. But unable to see any trace of it, i began to walk.
Stilettoes hanging in one hand, smeared kohl, unkempt hair kissing the soft breeze, skimpy clothes; HOE, that's what any ongoing looker would think of me.
But isn't that what i am?
A prostitute who sells her body to people who have sold their souls?
Engrossed in these thoughts, i sauntered the roads.
A black verna stopped near me.
"Customer", that's what my first thought was.
A familiar pair of eyes looked at me from inside the car.
"Damn !!! He's that pub guy who offered me a lift. Is he stalking me? But why? I am really not in a mood to entertain any customer tonight", thinking this i decided to put up a rude accent and turn him down whoever he was.
"It's late miss, and you are really not in your senses. Please don't think ill of me. I just felt like dropping you safely to wherever you are going. Please get inside the car and fasten the seat belt", he commanded me and i don't know why, i could not turn him down.
"That's like a good girl. So miss ummmm..."
"Natasha, call me Natasha", i completed his half finished sentence.
"Yes Miss Natasha, where am i dropping you?"
His voice was the most melodious thing i had ever heard.
I looked down. What should I tell him? What if he passes some nasty gestures at me like everyone else? It hurts. After all i am a human being, though people hardly consider me one, but i too have a heart.
"The burrow, red light street", i said with a straight face. The alcohol seemed to have triggered my adrenaline rush.
I was expecting him to smirk, to wince. To rape me with x ray eyes.
But I was wrong.
He passed a gentleman's smile and nodded.
I decided to take a stroll down the memory lane during the drive.
It was almost two and a half years ago when i entered this dark world of untold stories, of unsaid sorrows.
After a successful relationship of almost five years, Sameer left me without giving any valid reason.
I still remember his last words lucidly.
"I don't love you anymore! You getting it? I am tired of your tantrums and possessive nature. I do have a social life and for god's sake don't ruin it. You better leave my house right now and get fucked by other guys. You are such a Hoe! Now go and adopt that as your profession."
I was thrown out of the house that night with no money and a single piece of cloth to cover my body.
I cried.
I kept sitting outside HIS house and begged him to let me in.
My mournful words fell in deaf ears.
Gathering up the shattered pieces of my heart, i vowed, "I have always blindly followed whatever you have decided for me. I know nothing except loving you. If this is what you have decided for me, then i accept it with wide open arms. I loved you baby."
Glittering lights of all colors brought me back to my present.
"You are home Natasha", he said.
I looked outside. The place appeared HOME.
I thanked him and got down the car.
"Hope to meet you again Aastha", that stranger said with a half curved smile.
That name. It stirred something deep inside.
"How does he know me? Are we friends?"
I gave him a long hard look, he appeared oddly familiar.
"Don't look at me like that Aastha, i know you. You are Sameer's Aastha; His belief. I know what happened a few years ago. I was a silent admirer of The Aastha Roy Kapoor of Delhi Management College, like everyone else!".
He passed me a smile and drove off.
I kept looking in that direction for a long time till his car was no more within my view range.
I turned and looked at the sign board that said "The Burrow" in bright red light; the destination that My Sameer had chosen for me.
--Apurba Mandal
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ReplyDeleteApurba, your story is intriguing and keeps the reader going. You have a way of bringing in emotions. Do keep writing and yes, just a little advice- some amount of editing, would make your post an easier and much more enjoyable read. For example, "i" needs to be capital. It kind of disturbs the eye and the flow when such simple things glare out. Otherwise, wonderful writing- keep going.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much pratibha. :) will surely keep this in my mind the next time onwards. :)
DeleteBaba re itna lamba kaise likh leti ho.....kitna mehnat karti ho....good going.
ReplyDeleteWhy the duck can't I comment! 😠 Oh! This ducking stupid cellphone keep doing such duck.
ReplyDeleteTo start with, I had read this story when you posted earlier but I couldn't comment. Know why? Cause of my shitty phone. You knpw when you have stupid cellphones.😒
Okay, so, hey, I really really really loved this. This one is the best up till now. You know I could literally imagine all the scenes. This article had everything. I could see the sorrow, there was a pain inside this woman. It had a mystery that kept me up with this article. I got upset cause she chose that path because her husband left. I was so sad. I wish she stayed stronger. I was engrossed. I was thrilled. I'm not much into romantic stuffs but I'm still gonna comment on those.😝 Beaware.
Whatever may be, Apurba, I loved this. I could feel the pain of a hoe. I hope it doesn't happen to woman. And I hope and pray for all women so that she may keep up stronger.
And I loved it. Keep doing such stuffs.
Waiting for your next.😉
Thank you Monica :)
ReplyDelete